Texts'n'Bowl
by TsundePomodoro
Summary: Sasuke and Naruto's friendship's evolution through texts and well, life. AU - Romance eventually.
1. 1: Ramen

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the bowl. Yep the bowl is mine. Naruto's Kishimoto's and Phones are society's.

This is a real life alternate universe. Enjoy my pure stupidity.

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Sasuke kept staring at the bowl in front of him, on his kitchen table. What the hell was he doing anyway? He feared that, if he answered himself, his pride would be severed. And, he wasn't very queen to mess with his own pride. Guess what? The ramen smell wasn't as disgusting as he thought it would be. It was weird, but he blamed that on his cooking skills. He didn't know what flavor it was, he just… He didn't even remember how he got it, actually. Had he been possessed by some kind of demon?

That would actually explain a lot.

His phone vibrated, startling him. Though if you asked, he wouldn't say he was startled. He would stare at you, for he wouldn't know who this weird stranger was. But I'm deviating from the point. Sasuke took a look at his phone, and relaxed as he read "The Idiot", for there was only one person who truly deserved that name in this world, if you asked him… Oh well, no, don't ask him anything.

The black haired man took a look at the message.

"**Hey! You didn't text me first. That makes me a bit worried y'know. Just a tiny tiny little bit. I'm sure you're smiling."** Sasuke bit his lip. Noo, of course not. **"So yeah, how are you?"**

I'm just sitting in front of a bowl and having an existential crisis. He thought, looking at his ramen bowl. The serving had grown. It was as if it was alive, and actually going to eat him all up. Was ramen this dangerous?

He sighted. Of course not, he just let it too long in that bowl. But could he just… go on? And eat… that thing?

The fact is that the almighty Sasuke, already 20 years old, had never, ever, eaten ramen.

It was a random day, he was in the middle of class – well, the teacher was telling them some information little cared about, and Sasuke already knew – when his … umm… Friend? Well, they didn't ever meet, but he was going to call him a "friend" for now. His friend, whose name was Naruto, sent him a text, telling him how his lunch was the best thing ever to exist. Sasuke just kind of wondered what that thing would be. Pizza? Lasagna, maybe? Sushi? He asked anyway, because he wouldn't bother taking notes he wouldn't even need to read.

"_And what would this oh so good thing be?"_ **"RAMEN"**

Short and to the point had Naruto been.

"_Is it that good?"_ **"Of course it is!"** _"Never actually tried."_ **"…You kidding me? Are you even human? What has your life been like?! OH MY GOD RAMEN IS LIKE SO GOOD DUDE"**

And then he just decided he wouldn't reply that day, because when his penpal started using big letters, there was no other way to stop him.

Sasuke had met Naruto on a role playing forum. Ironically, the two of them just wanted to disconnect from their "reality", and just role play persons they weren't. No one would have thought Naruto actually liked to (could) write more than two sentences in a row, but no one would either think Sasuke would role play a silly girl – he looked rather like he hated girls (um well human beings if you asked some).

They knew each other for months, and then it occurred to them that, maybe, it would be good to actually exchange phone numbers and just talk whenever they wanted. And so they did, getting to know each other more and more each day.

… Whatever. Sasuke was in a dilemma, so why think about the past? He just wanted to try this thing and get over with it. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn't going to eat his insides.

You'd wonder why he was so scared of ramen. Well, you may not have to know. It was just linked with a traumatic event. Including ramen (obviously), his older (jerk of a) brother, toothpaste and pandas.

No, you shouldn't know. No one should. That door was locked. Okay? Okay.

Why would Sasuke approach such THING? Well… His curiosity was as big as his … planet. Gigantic. If Naruto said ramen was okay, so it should be. But was cold ramen okay? After all, he sat there for more than an hour, so that thing must actually be upset. And it would fight with his oh so sensitive stomach. He looked at his phone again. Oh yeah, might as well answer to his.. umm… frrriend?

"_Am fine. Why should I be the one to text first? I wouldn't bite you, you know, whenever you'd text me. I couldn't even if I wanted. Say, is cold ramen good?"_

He didn't have to wait. His id-… THAT idiot – Sasuke corrects me – was the fastest person ever to reply. It looked as if he didn't have anything else to do whenever Sasuke contacted him. He liked to think Naruto just didn't care more about others than he cared about him. Well, he wouldn't tell you that. … You know he wouldn't tell you anything, god.

"**What's up with cold ramen? It's better if you heat it up, y'know, but it's okay. Oh and I'm fine, thank you very much for asking!"**

Sasuke glared at his phone. Yes, he forgot to ask if Naruto was okay too, but now he just deliberately made him feel guilty. He didn't want to look as if he didn't care. Well, Sasuke didn't care about lots of things, but he cared about Naruto. This ramen thing just made him forget. Told you it was evil. HA! … …. Uhm.

He hesitated for a bit. How was he supposed to answer to this..? Well Naruto just looked teasing… so yeah… being honest would hurt no one.

"_I care, you know. But how do I heat it?"_

His gaze returned to the bowl, and he just realized he didn't even prepare a fork. He stood up, taking one and placing it on the table. His phone vibrated again.

"**that's emb"**

Sasuke just looked at the text, frowning. What did EMB mean? Enter My Butt…?

… GOD NO HE DIDN'T THINK THAT.

He didn't have the time to slam his head on the wall, because Naruto sent him another message.

"**Maybe try and strip? It'll make it hot I'm sure HAHA"**

Okay, maybe a head was going to be slammed on the wall. But not actually his. He glared at his phone.

"_Seriously thought. And what's EMB?"_

"**I meant embarrassing, god Sass' you're dumb. Microwave it, or I don't know!"**

"_You are just influencing me, and what's with Sass', it's ugly. Thanks anyway, moron"_

"**FROM TODAY ON YOU ARE SASS' HAHA, you are welcome my grumpy bastard"**

"_I'm not yours to be"_

"**ugh stop taking all my words against me!'**

"_Okay, but tell me, if the ramen turns green, is it still okay?"_

"… **Sass', no ramen turns green."**

"… _Should I flee?"_


	2. 2: Coffee & Pancakes

Disclamer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto!

Here's an update! I love writing this. There is a bit less stupidness in this one, well it all goes with my mood. I hope it's okay!

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"_Hey. What are you doing?"_

Naruto sat on his bed, under his covers, sniffling and coughing. He hated everything, absolutely everything. And especially running noses, missing voices, lack of appetite and pure loneliness. He kept staring some time at his phone screen before comprehending what was written. Oh. Sasuke talked to him. Well maybe he wasn't so bored, lonely and hateful. Okay, Naruto was never in a bad mood for too long.

"**am breathing"** he replied simply, laughing silently – he had no voice – at his own cleverness. Take that Sass'!

He then put the cover off himself, shuddering at the difference in temperature. It was all dark in his room, and he was glad because the light wouldn't seem to just _shut up_ and let him be. It was just so _loud_ his brain couldn't function (did it ever?). He took a look at the street from his window, only seeing a cat which seemed to have no worry in the world. Naruto would honestly freak out being alone outside at 3AM. Cats were so badass.

3AM. Wait. Did Sasuke send him a text at this time? He looked again at his phone, receiving yet another text.

"_I didn't doubt that yet. Why are you even answering?"_

The blond man narrowed his eyes at his phone, utterly confused. Was his reply not necessary? But, when someone asks a question, it's polite to reply! For once in his life, he actually tried to be polite, so why did Sasuke have to spoil this, huh? That prick.

He felt his head ache. Well, why would anyone bother trying to understand Sasuke's way?

"'**Cause I have those weird things called fingers attached to my hands, and obviously they love answering you, sorry for that, it can't be helped. What's up with you dude?"**

He continued staring at his phone, waiting for an answer because he didn't have anything to do anyway. He had slept for hours on a row, and though his body still felt a bit of fatigue, he didn't feel like falling into Morpheus' arms any time soon. He didn't feel like doing anything at the time but talk to Sasuke.

"_It was a way of asking you why you were still awake, dumbass. I'm okay. The sandman's just fucking laaate."_

Naruto smiled a bit. Well, that was ironic. He overslept, and his friend wanted to sleep but obviously couldn't. He felt a bit excited, and he didn't even know why. It was like when a friend slept over and you had secret conversations until late in the night.

"**Woke up like thirty minutes ago 'n am so sick I'd make sickness look healthy, I'd sing a lullaby for you but my throat's sore. Are you insomniac or something?"**

He hopped out of bed, fighting off his dizziness, and made his way to his kitchen, phone in hand. Might as well drown in coffee if he didn't plan on sleeping. That would make him alert. He let the microwave warm a cup of water and glanced at his phone. An answer, sweet.

"_Makes me think we should have a phone call someday, I'm a bit curious. Not normally insomniac, I don't know what's going on in my mind lately and it's irritating. Are you taking medication properly?"_

His nervousness rose instantly, even though Sass' wasn't talking about, well, right now. He didn't like phone calls, he just tended to stutter and be awkward. Well, especially if he talked with someone for the first time. Seriously, texting was better. And what if I his voice sounded stupid to his friend, anyway? … Well actually it was sometimes high-pitched and utterly annoying, but that was a habit of his. He was totally aware of it, yep.

"**yup why not someday. Coffee is my medicine, hehe. Are you like, IN LOVE? Cuz' y'know, people in love don't eat lots 'n don't sleep lots and become instantly cute 'n things! Love's so gooood~"**

He smirked at his phone even though Sasuke couldn't see him. He knew his friend wasn't the blue flower type of person. But well, that wouldn't be too surprising if he had fallen in love. Love was normal, after all. Maybe he'd be a bit jealous, though. The type of jealousy you throw in the back of your mind and forget forever after.

He put some instant coffee in his cup, ignoring the sugar begging to be used. He liked the taste that came with coffee. Well, he learned to like it somehow after years of disgust. Surely, it was because he felt that sleep would go away faster if no sugar was added. He didn't know if it was right though.

"_Take REAL medicine, gosh, coffee won't help. NO, I'm not in love, and NO I'm not in denial, don't even try, and love's not that easy of a thing. Take medicine, now."_

Naruto took a gulp of his coffee and put it on his table. He had burned his tongue. Was Sasuke a witch who could burn people at distance for not obeying her? Surely, "she" had teamed up with his microwave.

No one was to be trusted, the world was against him, and his tongue was stinging.

"**Okay okay, god Sass' you don't have to be so worried about me. I'm not dying yet, y'know. Though that's cute, so you have the cute thing and the no sleep thing, don't eat and I'll take it as in you're in love with the god I am! oh, everyone loves me"**

That was purely ironic. Not everyone did love him. Actually some hated him from the depths of their souls. He wasn't sure if he knew the reason or not, but he didn't want to think about it. He was just glad high school – and thus bullying and pretending not to notice said thing – was over. The adult world didn't suck that much, though some wanted him to be more responsible, serious and- well, everything.

He looked at his cup and decided to forget its existence, looking back at his phone.

"_Aw just shut up, too bad I'm eating pancakes. Die and see if I care… But I do because the only partly-not-annoying person with messed up sleeping schedules I know is you. Don't die or I'll be bored. That's a threat you know. Just don't die okay?"_

Naruto pouted because Sasuke completely ignored the "everyone loves me" part. And then he arched his eyebrow because wow, that was honest. And terribly cute. And somehow worrying because, well, why was Sasuke asking him cutely and honestly not to die? … That wasn't something you asked anyone. Well, anyone _not dying_. Like, going on the street and telling a stranger 'Hey please don't die okay?' and the stranger would smile and say 'Okay but that's because you asked me, I'm going not to die, for you, but that's going out of my way huh so remember this!'.

It was a bit ridiculous. But in some way, that meant Naruto wasn't just some stranger for Sasuke.

It was a bit flattering.

"**Okay, no worry, I'm not planning on dying. You're weird when you lack sleep. I want pancakes toooo! Oh and guess what? I just realized I don't even have medicine in the first place. hehe"**

He knew that somewhere in the world, someone facepalmed. He smiled sheepishly as he rummaged through the drawer a second time. No pills. Maybe coffee would be sufficient.

"…_. I don't want you to rub off on me with your stupidity, so I'm gonna sleep now. Looks like I'm better."_

"**Oh okay, am glad! Good night! And I'm not stupid"**

"_You are. Thanks"_

"**AM NOT"**

No reply.


	3. 3: Weddings

Disclaimer: Naruto is Masashi Kishimoto's!

Third chapter, and it's becoming really fluffy, somehow. Enjoy~! And don't hesitate to tell me what you think of it, or if there are mistakes! \ o /

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"**I saw a dream about you"**

Sasuke choked on nothing, and coughed. Confused eyes turned toward him.

« Are you alright? » A voice whispered besides him. Hinata was there, looking at him worriedly. « Did you catch a cold? »

Sasuke just shook his head, hiding his phone in his pocket. Okay, he wasn't supposed to use it at the moment, but he didn't care at all about the wedding he was in. He knew neither the bride, nor the groom. Hinata just begged him to go with her because Kiba wouldn't come anyway (some flu's story, but it was obviously an excuse) and Shino would be late (Some insect's story, maybe not an excuse). She hated being alone, after all. So she had asked her classmate. Sasuke couldn't have said "no", seeing her pleading eyes. After all, he had a bit of a heart. And she always helped him when he didn't understand something, was there to listen when he needed to rant about anything and wasn't too much of a pain. He could call her a friend. Maybe. What were friends?

He took his phone out again.

"_Even though you never saw me? What kind of dream?"_

He looked up again. Wedding things were going on. He didn't understand wedding things. He found them annoying to the core. Why did people want to be bound by law? Did they not trust one another to just stay and be together? He didn't trust weddings. It was all good looks, expensive foods and fake smiles. Nope.

"**I don't remember the face I saw, I just know it was you. The weird kind"**

He raised his eyebrows. Well? Why was Naruto not telling him right away what his dream was?

"_Tell me."_

His curiosity grew, and he was thankful Shino had arrived because then, he would be free to flee from the crowd that was making him slightly agoraphobic. He put his hand on Hinata's shoulder, and she smiled gratefully, allowing him to excuse himself and making her way to her childhood friend.

He made his own way to the garden, taking the long route because he had spotted some girls he certainly did not want to bump into. The kind who annoyed the hell out of him just because he looked handsome. They really didn't know anything about him aside from that. They didn't care, certainly. That was the reason he cared so much about Naruto. The first thing they got to know about each other wasn't mundane. It wasn't the name, nor the colour or the looks. It was the mind. Only words could convey it clearly. Words or drawings, but he wasn't much of an artist.

He let himself sink on a bench, sighting his relief. There wasn't a soul in sight. He took his phone once again, seeing a reply.

"**god my mind's messy. I was eating ice cream and you just came up to me from nowhere and gave me a paper with crosses everywhere and you talked about smiles. What do you think it means? It's bugging me sooo muuuuch!"**

He couldn't help but chuckle, closing his eyes to think for a bit. Then, he answered.

"_It IS puzzling indeed. Well. Are you craving ice cream? Are some exams scaring you or something? Do I make you smile? Do you want to see me?"_

He felt his face heating up and he bit his lip, hitting send. Those two last questions were kind of embarrassing. He would've never asked them if Naruto was in front of him. Never ever. And he was kind of apprehensive to the reaction he was going to get. He felt as if he was going to explode. He put his hands over his face and whined. Why the fuck did he ask that? God he wanted to bury himself kilometers under the ground. His phone vibrated against his thigh, forcing him to look at it.

"**Yes, who wouldn't crave ice cream? No, strangely. Yes. Yes, but I'm cowardly. Well, this is awkward, heh"**

His cheeks suddenly felt like burning. Yep. Very awkward. But somehow, it made him happy to know he wasn't the only one to want to, someday, maybe, conceivably, meet his friend.

"_I am too. Craving ice cream, I mean. And cowardly, too, just like you. Even though we're adults, huh?"_

Well, that was too much honesty for one day. He felt like running away from god knows what, for the sake of running. He also felt like hiding in his room, under his covers. Argh.

"**Define adult. I never understood that shit."**

The dark haired man scratched his cheek. Well that was a tricky request.

"_I guess you become an adult when you have experience in life, thus you're less afraid of things"_

People started to exit the house. Sasuke hoped no one would spot his bench. He switched on the 'do not approach' aura he had developed with years of practice.

"**Guess we're not adults then. 'cuz that would be being emotionless. Duh"**

Sasuke smiled. That was a way of thinking he couldn't argue with.

"_Sure. Or maybe they hide their emotions better. I can hide them pretty well."_

Not just 'pretty well', but 'perfectly' unless you annoyed the shit out of him. Or made him really shameful. And that would be annoying anyway, so please don't.

"**I can't. That makes us opposites, right? You're like an old wise man"**

"_And you, a foolish little baby. By the way, weddings suck."_

"**NOT! And what? You're getting married? WHY? NAA"**

"_Are you serious? Who said __**I**__ was, stupid? I'm at someone's wedding."_

"**Oh. Oh okay. You're not getting married then?"**

"_You are a hopeless case."_

"**So?"**

"_Just shut up."_

"**MEAN."**


End file.
